One Day
by Candy Maiden
Summary: The diary of Rin and the 6 years spent with Kaede. Sesshomaru/Rin.
1. Year 1

**A/N: Yeah, another Sesshoumaru-Rin story -_- I'm making another one because I finished watching the Final Act series of InuYasha, and well, if you haven't seen it, just know this: In the last episode, Rin is 12, and leaves Sesshoumaru to join Kaede to 'learn how to live in a human village.' Hmm. Anyway, this is just a diary of hers, but when she turns 18, it'll turn into an actual story. Oh, the diary goes in a pattern of every ten days or so. It'll basically be 10-20-30, and the special days. Not every single day.**

**Disclaimer: Of course, everything in this story belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.**

_January 26__th_ Today, Rin came to a human village where Kagome and InuYasha lived. Sesshoumaru-sama said we were just going to talk to Kaede, but then as we were leaving… Kaede told Rin I should stay here to learn the ways of a human village! She said I could go back to Milord when I'm done… and all Milord said was "Okay." And left! He left Rin all alone… Rin felt empty. Until Rin got this diary from Kaede, Rin didn't know what to do. But, this Rin now has things to do and learn… so bye?

_January 30__th_ Today, Kaede told Rin to stop 'talking in the third person'. She taught Rin that that is wrong, and not normal. Rin is trying hard to stop doing this, but Rin doesn't feel the same saying "I am" instead of "Rin is"! Rin is also learning how to read and write, Kaede's helping me a lot and Rin feels "embarrassed". Kaede helped me spell that.

_February 10__th_Today, Rin figured out just how hard Kanji is. Kaede and Rin were going over symbols, but all Rin can remember is the symbol for 'tree' in Katakana looks like one, and the Kanji for 'forest' is a cluster of three Katakana trees! Rin needs to go to sleep now, bye!

_February 16__th_Sesshoumaru-sama visited Rin today! It was only for a few minutes, but it was still nice getting a new kimono. This one was white and had an orange flower pattern near the bottom. It felt really nice, and Rin is gonna wear it whenever she can!

_February 20__th_ Kaede told me (I'm trying hard not to 'talk in third person') that I looked really happy when Sesshoumaru-sama came. It meant he didn't just forget about me, which is what I fear. Well, Kaede is teaching me how to make medicines and which herbs to use. She told Rin that Rin is going to learn a lot in the next 6 years.

_February 28__th _I do not like this 'first-person' talking. But Rin is very tired today, so I will sleep soon… Rin and Kaede… I mean, Kaede and I went out gathering herbs for hours and hours with no end in sight… but, I did find a nice cliff with a view near Kaede's house… shrine… thing. Tomorrow's another long day Kaede told me, so I better sleep! Goodnight!

_March 10__th _The last few weeks have been tiring… I've been staying up late trying to learn to read and write without the help of Kaede. It's getting easier, but it's still very hard. All of my time is spent learning herbs and medicines from Kaede, learning to read or write, or sleeping. I don't remember the last time I had fun.

_March 20__th_I've been having trouble concentrating, I keep falling asleep! I also miss Sesshoumaru-sama. Every night before I sleep, I always wish for him to come visit again. He told me he'd try to visit every month if it allowed, but I don't think that will happen. I wonder if he'd be proud of what I was doing?

_March 26__th_Sesshoumaru-sama came today, finally after all my wishing! He came during the afternoon and we walked to a close meadow so I could pick flowers for him. They were really pretty, and it felt good talking to him, even if he didn't say anything back. At sunset, we started walking back to the village, and after he talked to Lady Kaede, he left. It started raining that night…

_March 30th _I stayed out in the rain to get herbs, but I hadn't been sleeping, and I finally got so tired I just fell down and slept. It was still raining when I woke up to boys kicking mud on me, so I quickly got my basket of herbs and tried to run, but those boys were fast. After they were done, I walked home in silence, and got a fresh kimono to go and change into after I bathed. Lady Kaede didn't ask what happened to my dirty kimono, or why I've gotten sick. I hope I don't stay sick and 'lend' myself to writing these long stories all day. Maybe I'll become a writer? I hope not. That sounds boring.

_April 9__th _I didn't get over my cold quickly, well Lady Kaede said I had, since it wasn't really a cold she had said. She called it ammonia or nyamonia or something. I asked her how to write the kanji for it… it's pneumonia. I've seen it before; it was next to a marking of 'miasma'. I remembered it because Jaken got so scared of seeing it! I forgot all about Jaken… I think he stayed with Lady Kaede when Sesshoumaru visited… I don't know, sadly.

_April 24__th_Today is my 13th birthday. Lady Kaede was nice enough to give me the day off and let me wander. I found some dandelion puffs, and I made 3 wishes… I can't tell you what they are, but one came true today! Sesshoumaru-sama came and visited again! I hadn't asked for a present, but he gave me a new kimono! I always loved the kimono's he brought. I told him of what I was learning. For once, he had replied to me 'That's good." I was so happy! Later on, we went back to the village, and I got to see Jaken and say hello. Sesshoumaru-sama again was talking to Lady Kaede in private, so me and Jaken were by Ah-Un. Jaken told me that they only came to get new medicines for wounds from the Lady, and it wasn't for me, and that I just burdened Milord with visiting him. I knew it wasn't true… but… it still hurt. This story is taking up three pages of my journal, and it's getting tear stains… I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.

_April 31__st_I looked closely at my new kimono today. It was a deep purple, this time with a golden lily pattern going from the right shoulder, down to where it stops above my ankles. It feels even nicer than the old one Sesshoumaru-sama gave me!

_May 10__th _Even though I said it couldn't be true, it still hurts me when I think about what Jaken said. And for some reason, Lady Kaede has been awfully nice to me lately. I hope she hasn't been reading this journal! It'd be embarrassing…

_May 20__th _About 2 days ago I found myself bleeding. I won't say it where it was coming from, but I asked Lady Kaede for bandages and she kept asking why until I told her I was bleeding. She then told me it was normal after she saw the blood stains on my yukata! I don't believe her at all, and she said it'll stop in a few days and come back about every 28 days. I told her I didn't want that to happen, and all she did was laugh and say if I wanted children I would. What does bleeding and babies have to do with one another? Oh well. I feel sick, goodnight.

_May 30__th _Hmm. Milord hasn't visited me. Oh well, I knew he wouldn't come every month, but still… it makes me sad and I do not know why.

_June 10__th _It's getting really hot. Because of this, Lady Kaede is spending more time outside, so we visited the townspeople who didn't come regularly for medical check-ups. That other girl, Kagome, came too. She's training to be a miko, and she practices with Kaede while I study. We hadn't talked much before, but she really is nice. She asked if her big-brother ever visited. I was confused until she told me the custom of calling the brother of your husband your 'big brother'. I still didn't understand until she reminded me Sesshoumaru-sama and InuYasha were related. I had forgotten! I felt so stupid… goodnight.

_June 20__th_The heat hasn't peaked yet, but it is still quite hot. But, it rains and storms a lot, so the nights are even cooler than expected. And, I know it's silly, but I'm scared of lightning, and the dark is scary too. But, it gets less scary when I remember the days when it would storm, and Sesshoumaru-sama would let me rest my head on his Mokumoku. It made me feel safe, like when I was little and my mama let me rest my head in her lap during storms. Well, goodnight.

_June 28__th _I don't think Milord is going to visit this month either. I don't blame him; he must get awfully hot in all the things he wears. I remember talking to InuYasha about it, because he was licking himself and I asked why, since it seemed to be a very dirty habit. He just said dogs do it, and this time I was smart enough to put the pieces together. I still can't stop laughing at the thought of Sesshoumaru-sama licking himself the way InuYasha was! I wish I could write more, but it's late. Goodnight!

_July 10__th _Lady Kaede was being mean today, calling me 'lazy' like Jaken, and she wouldn't help me write the correct kanji for words I was trying to learn! I yelled at her, and she yelled back, asking if I was on my 'menses'. I didn't understand, until she told me it's when I bleed. I don't know why I suddenly became so rude, but I shouted 'It's none of your business, you old hag!' and I ran to my room. I'll apologize in the morning. Goodnight.

_July 20__th _I decided that the morning after our fight, I would make Lady Kaede some herbal tea, the kind she loves. When she awoke, after I had cleaned and polished everything inside her shrine, she sat down and sipped tea. I could see her choke on it. 'Too sweet. You wasted a lot of sugar for this tea…' she said. I was crushed, as I didn't even put in any sugar! She put her cup down, and told me she had read my journal last night. She told I shouldn't say such things about Milord, and about everyone else. She also found out why I was sick! She knew the boys, and would go talk to them, which isn't what I needed. So… I got up, got some of my things, and ran away. I don't know where I am now, as I'm lost in the forest. It's night, so I'll find a clearing and sleep. I'm scared…

_July 31__st _I think today is the 31st anyway. I don't know, I've been trying to count the days as they go by. It's raining a lot this summer, and it keeps the demons away, but it smells bad and it's always muddy. Another month goes by, with no Sesshoumaru-sama I think. I feel sick, and I'm on my 'menses' again. I haven't felt warmth in a while. Maybe I should to the village? I'll walk towards it, but if they don't care enough o get me, I'll stay here!

_August 10__th _About 4 days ago, I collapsed from 'exhaustion' near the entrance or end to the forest, near the Bone Eater Well. I hadn't had any food or water, and my skin was now a reddish color from being in the sun too long. It hurt, and it still does hurt now. I'm thankful Kagome was returning from her time for some supplies for her newly pregnant self, and she found me. Well, actually, InuYasha found me, but waited for Kagome. He didn't want to move me. They took me back to the village, and apologized to Lady Kaede. She told me to never do it again. I don't know why I did that thing, either. I can't survive on my own… goodnight.

_August 20__th_My skin was peeling off! It felt good to take off, but it was weird. Kagome said I was burned, and it's okay. My new skin hurts, but feels really soft and looks pretty. I asked Lady Kaede if Sesshoumaru-sama showed up again. She said no. I've resumed normal life again, with Lady Kaede teaching me herbal medicines and teas, which I am now very good at. She told me she will be leaving for a two-month trip for rare herbs, and me and the miko Kagome must look over the shrine. I thought miko's weren't supposed to have kids? Well, goodnight.

_August 30__th _By sunset of tomorrow, Lady Kaede will have left. Kagome came and put a strange paste on my new skin- I think she called it 'aloe vera', which she taught me how to make for when I needed it. I have heard of aloe, but not vera. It was… strange. But I'm happy; Kagome's going to teach me new words! Goodnight!

_September 10__th _So far, everything is going good. I've learned many new things from the miko. She was nice to me when I was little, and still is. I asked her about herself and her past, and she told me all about how she came to the feudal era and everything. I told her about me when she asked. She hugged me when I told her about my mama and papa and family, the wolves… and dying. Twice. She told me InuYasha will come stay the night with her and I on the new moon, in a few weeks. I didn't say much after that. Good night.

_September 17__th _I'm happy I'm writing more and more every day! It's good practice, and my new handwriting is so much better than my handwriting from just a few months ago. Also, Sesshoumaru-sama showed up again! He came with another new kimono, something I didn't expect. I told Sesshoumaru-sama everything that had happened, besides me running away and being disrespectful. I asked Milord if he ever didn't like me. He didn't even give me a 'Hn.'. Later, to break the uncomfortable silence, I asked if he still wanted me to come back when I'm older. He told me, 'It's up to you, Rin.' And so, we walked back to the shrine, since it was very late. InuYasha was there, and Sesshoumaru-sama said nothing, and walked out, calling for Jaken. I think InuYasha was surprised. Before Jaken ran out, he told me I had annoyed Milord. I sat in the dark, just thinking for a very long time. It's almost sunrise, I should at least sleep a little bit… Good… morning? Night?

_September 30__th _InuYasha came back last night, sitting outside just looking at the sky. It was night, so I couldn't say I wanted to go pick flowers to Kagome. I told her honestly, I wanted to talk to InuYasha, and she let me! She's too nice, I think. I walked out and sat by him, wearing the new orange kimono with a blue flower pattern, this time only at the bottom and top. InuYasha just looked over at me. He didn't seem like his brother, he actually talked back to me. I sat staring at the stars until it happened- it was long past sunset, and it was close to midnight I 'approximated'. Suddenly, InuYasha's hair became black, and his nails became normal, and I swore his eyes changed color… I think… I think… he was a human now. I heard Jaken tell me this was another way Milord was superior to InuYasha. InuYasha still hadn't said anything. So, I asked him about his past. He fought with me about why he should, until Kagome came out and asked to hear it too. I'm learning so much. Maybe it's good for me to be here. Well, I've written a lot and my hand hurts so much… Goodnight!

_October 10__th _The next day after that, I asked InuYasha about Sesshoumaru-sama before InuYasha became hanyou again and left. He told me a lot—and he had called his mother a 'purebred bitch'. I had heard that word before, but I didn't know what it was, so I didn't say it. It also didn't seem nice, but if it accompanied purebred, it couldn't be bad, right? I'm not certain. His mother seemed nice, anyway. She brought me to life after Sesshoumaru-sama couldn't. I think Sesshoumaru-sama really loves me secretly, like a father loves his daughter. I hope he's proud of me. Whatever Jaken says can't be true, then! Another night where I learned so much and am going to sleep happy. Goodnight.

_October 24__th _Lord Sesshoumaru visited again yesterday, making me just that much happier. He came during the afternoon finally, so we could talk as I picked flowers, and even though it was getting cold again, the prettiest flowers endured and let me pick them. It was nearly nightfall when we headed back, but I asked him if he'd like to see the cliff I had found so long ago. He agreed, and we—I mean I talked, and the last I remember is him almost smiling when I laid my head against his Mokumoku like I used to. Kagome woke me up this morning, telling me Lord Sesshoumaru had carried me back to my room when I had fallen asleep. She said I was adorable and smiling as I slept. I'm going to bed happy again tonight, so goodnight!

_November 13__th _Lady Kaede came back a few days ago. She had a lot—and I really do mean a lot- of rare herbs and herbs from not here. She said someday I could go with her, and it sounded 'amusing'. Lord Sesshoumaru had said that word a few times. Kagome said I was a very nice and polite young 'woman'… it felt weird hearing that. But Lady Kaede laughed and said 'that she is, that she is!' It made me kind of warm inside. Like how I feel when I see Sesshoumaru-sama smile, even if it's only been less than 3 times, it's still nice. Well, time for bed.

_November 23__rd _Tonight it started snowing, so I didn't expect Lord Sesshoumaru to come within the next few days of November to visit. Oh well. I've spent most of my time reading and writing, since we're sorting the herbs and waiting until spring to use them. Lady Kaede has been so 'gracious' to me! She's taught me so much, and I'm happy. Goodnight.

_December 3__rd _It's bitter and cold, and my menses have begun again. Oh, it makes me feel so sick. Those stupid boys saw me again today, and kept yelling at me and calling me a 'prude' and 'flat-chested'. I thought prude meant shriveled up? And I told Lady Kagome about what they said to me, and she said sorry and wouldn't tell me what they meant.

_December 16__th _I don't think I'll ever stop crying. It happened two days ago, when I was getting firewood… those stupid boys- 5 of them- came up to me and pushed me from behind. I had been getting over a cold, and got into a coughing fit. I felt so weak. They started calling me mean names, but the ones that stick out were 'no-breasts' and 'flat-chested', 'tattle tale', and that word… 'bitch'. They, from what I heard, were kicking me and hurting me all because Lady Kaede told their parents and they got in a lot of trouble. I was already weak, and I started coughing up blood. I don't understand why this happened, or why they left so abruptly. No one came for me until the day after, which was yesterday. My blood was left on the freshly fallen snow, and it reminded me of my mama's blood in snow, and then my sisters, and then my youngest brothers. Everybody else was inside spilling their blood. I haven't slept since Kagome found me, and I'm recovering right now… but I don't think I'll stop crying for a while.

_December 27__th _Lord Sesshoumaru visited me today, 'despite' it was snowing. I was sitting outside on the steps when he came. He asked why I wasn't inside in this cold, and I was somewhat happy he cared. I stood up and hugged him. He didn't push me away, but he also didn't pull me in like I always hoped he would once do. I told him in another month it will have been a year, and I don't think I could spend another year here. I asked to go back with him, and after I let go of him he asked me a simple 'Why.' No emotion or hint of concern, but that's normal for him. I told him about the mean boys and how I had finally let myself go and cried for days and how ashamed he must be. All he said was 'I'll take care of it' and left. I told him goodbye, and even now I don't understand what went on. Hmm, well, goodnight.

**A/N: I hope you liked it. Any reviews I'll answer next chapter. If you think anybody is OOC, just remember Rin never got used to living in a village with other kids, and she much less didn't learn how to deal with problems other than holding it in, etc. from when she was with Sesshoumaru. Also, a Mokumoku is the pelt around Sesshoumaru's shoulder. It's a pelt that signifies dignity and royalty. Thanks for reading :)**


	2. Year 2

**A/N: Woah. I got so many reviews in just one day, I feel like I'm actually writing something good! I hope I am, but I feel like Rin and Sesshoumaru are OOC… Well, you tell me, I guess. The reason this update is quick is because I write faster when I listen to music… I just got the complete InuYasha soundtrack XD**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns InuYasha. All I own is the okami-youkai, Kazuko and Hatsujin**

_January 10__th _Well, Lord Sesshoumaru handled the boys. I won't tell anybody but you, Journal, this because they don't know who hurt the boys, and I don't want Lord Sesshoumaru to be frowned upon even more. The biggest and meanest boy got his arm ripped off, one lost an eye, one broke his arm in a very bad way, another got an ear andpart of his cheek cut off, and the smallest got scratched cleanly across his face, and is now poisoned. I thought they were gonna die, but it's not up to me. Thank you Lord Sesshoumaru, they don't even look at me anymore! Well, one can't, but… um, goodnight now!

_January_ _26__th _It's been a full year. It feels weird to say I'm almost 14, I feel so old. Lady Kaede I was growing up really fast. Lord Sesshoumaru came and visited like I thought he would, and we went to the cliff. I thanked for everything as the sunset. He said he had to leave soon, so we walked back to the shrine like every other time, and before he left I couldn't help but hug him. His Mokumoku tickled my face, it felt so funny! I could've swore I saw that small smile when I looked up, but I smiled back if he was smiling. He left soon after that, and I finally got to wave to him as he left. He always left after I had gone to sleep. Well, goodnight.

_January 30__th _Lady Kaede said she's proud I'm writing so much. She says it's good practice. She comments on everything I do. I realized how much of a grandmother she is to me now, and Kagome is motherly towards me too, since she's now almost always at the shrine. Maybe it was the right choice for me to be here? I wish I could write more on what everyone says like my funny conversations with InuYasha, but I'm tired tonight. Goodnight!

_February 10__th _I began my menses a few days ago, and I realized witheach day I feel less sick and less blood flows. Lady Kaede still can't stop laughing from when I told her and was worried this was bad! She told me she shouldn't laugh and told me she and Lady Kagome could answer all my questions. I asked Lady Kagome for an answer and she giggled a bit, but told me it's fine. I think I like her better than Lady Kaede for now. Goodnight, then!

_February 20th _Lady Kagome found my journal today and, actually asked if she could read it! She said it wouldn't change anything if she did read it, and wouldn't hold anything against me. I finally cracked and said yes. She helped me spell words right, and is still helping me learn new words and 'grammar'. She didn't say anything about the content, besides that she was glad to see me writing so much. Now, I'm gonna let her read it whenever she wants so she can see my 'improvement'. I'll mark the words she taught me, like 'improvement'. Thank you Lady Kagome! Goodnight!

_March 12__th _I feel happy learning so much, but I just realized Sesshoumaru-sama had told me he won't visit until April because of a journey thing. Wow, that sounded really 'non-chalant', I should be more formal with you, Journal. Sorry. Well, we start making new medicines soon, so goodnight.

_March 21__st _We started making new pastes, creams, anything we could. It was fun, and everybody was proud of me for mixing so well. I can now identify almost 200 different herbs, and can make so many new things! But, I just now realized I'm not really learning how to live like a human. I'm learning to be a miko and medicine woman. I don't want to be a miko… spare me, Journal! I do not want to be sucked into a life where I must see dead bodies and sick people. I think I would cry every time. Well… goodnight, please have a restful sleep. I don't think I will.

_March 30__th _Less than a month until I'm 14, and the count goes from 5 to 4 years until I can rejoin Milord! Lady Kagome said it sounded like I had a 'crush' on Lord Sesshoumaru. I didn't understand, until she said it meant I liked him. I told her I loved him, he was like a father to me kinda! She just nodded. Am I what they call 'naïve'? I hope not, Journal. Goodnight.

_April 10__th _I'm having nightmares of my parents dying again. It's not as if their death dates were near, so I didn't know why. Until one night, last night, the dream continued past me hiding. It went until I tripped over a root when I was 6 or 7, and Sesshoumaru-sama brought me back to life. Well, two nights ago it went until I died. Last night it went until I opened my eyes to see Sesshoumaru-sama. I don't get it, Journal! Please wish me to not have those nightmares again… goodnight.

_April 24__th _I'm now officially 14! Lord Sesshoumaru finally visited me, with a new kimono AND a yukata as a birthday present, I assume. This one is now my favorite! It's like the color of my eyes, and it comes off my shoulders to show the yukata, which is lighter. The pattern has these silver flowers, but the flowers are different than all the rest. It looks like it belongs on a princess, andI hugged Milord again today, but he still didn't touch me when I did. Oh well. I talked to him about how happy I am andhow Lady Kagome is expecting to give birth in less than a month, and wants me to help take care of the baby! I felt like he was silently proud of me, and now I can go to sleep happy. Oh, I also told him about my nightmares, and how they stopped a few days ago. He seemed concerned… but I couldn't tell. Maybe I hoped too hard? Ha, well, goodnight, Journal.

_May 10__th _Should I name you, Journal? I asked Lady Kagome and she said I should, since I talk to it so much, and we both laughed. Well, your name is now Sasshi! I even tried to draw you on a page… Lady Kagome said it looked like a 'manga' character. Whatever that is. I think the eyes are kinda big, and the nose is small… I'm sorry. But, Sasshi, you're an inu-youkai, like Milord! I wish I looked like you; you look like somebody who anybody would want to marry. Lady Kagome said I'm pretty, too, but I didn't believe her. Why am I so worried about this now? Well, goodnight… Sasshi.

_May 25__th _Lady Kagome had a baby boy today! She asked me to name him, and I couldn't think of a name until I thought back to my mama. She named her first-born, my oldest brother, Daitaro. My mama told me it meant 'great first son'. It stuck out in my mind… I remembered how my mama had named all her kids for a reason. Mine was Rin because I didn't kick much, so she thought I would make a good companion, and I smiled at that thought. Well, my job as a big sister (kinda) starts in a few days. So, let me rest peacefully! Haha, goodnight Sasshi!

_June 5__th _Lady Kaede said I looked really grown-up, taking care of a baby, and wearing my favorite kimono, I call it the 'princess' one. She said she could see me taking on 'womanly changes'. I knew what she meant, my chest felt… heavier. I feel so embarrassed; I wish I didn't have to talk about those things, ever! But anyway, Daitaro is a really 'rowdy' baby! He's always doing something weird or sneaky. He's also a fast learner, and can crawl after only a few weeks. He's ¼ demon… it's weird. I also tried to redraw you Sasshi, this time with better details. Your hair is really pretty! Well, goodnight, Sasshi!

_June 20__th _I don't think Lord Sesshoumaru likes the summer. He hasn't visited me since April, and I guess it's better if he doesn't visit every month. Then I feel like a burden… oh well. Oh, oh, also Lady Kagome went to her time today to get things for Daitaro, and she gave this candy… it's like cooked bread with… stuff on it. The box it came in says 'Pocky Variety Pack" and that they're "Biscuit sticks with Flavored Icing". She said they're really good, and they are! There's 'coffee' and 'chocolate' and strawberry and some have almonds or something on them! They're so good; I wish I had saved a few. Well, goodnight.

_June 30__th _Sasshi, do you like your name and how I drew you? I hope you do. Oh, I visited InuYasha to say thank you to Lady Kagome and take Daitaroto 'babysit'. We talked for awhile, and he asked why I cared so much about Sesshoumaru-sama. It was a weird, out of nowhere question. I told him how he had saved my life, twice. InuYasha seems smarter than he looks. I think he was good at piecing things together. He then told me I had taught Sesshoumaru-sama'compassion'. I wish I knew what that was. Do you, Sasshi?

_July 10__th _I asked Lady Kagome what 'compassion' is. She said it's when someone cares about another person when they're hurt. Is that really true? I hope so. I was so happy when I heard that. Lady Kaede asked me why I was so happy again. I told her and she smiled too. She didn't laugh, but she smiled. It felt nice. Do you ever wish to smile, Sasshi? It's nice. Goodnight.

_July 20__th _Another month of no Sesshoumaru-sama. Well, I'm still happy. It's really hot this year, so me and Lady Kaede walk to the nearby springs and bathe every day, instead of the hot springs. It's nice of her to talk to me too. I asked about her eye… she told me about Kikyo, Kagome, and the arrow and I was scared just hearing it. I remember Lady Kikyo… I learned a lot today, again. I'm happy, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_July 31__st _Lady Kaede and Lady Kagome weren't here when I woke up. I panicked until I realized they had told me about not being here for the last few days of a month until next January. Apparently they're looking for a rare type of herb or flower and it only appears in the last 5 days of a month. Weird.

_August 7__th _I walked with Lady Kaede and Lady Kagome to the springs to bathe today. When we were bathing, they asked if I had made any new friends and liked my new life. I felt saddened for some reason… well; I told them about how you and me, Sasshi, were best friends. I've had dreams where we're picking flowers for each other andl aughing like friends do. But, beyond Lady Kagome, Lady Kaede, you, Daitaro, and InuYasha… I have no other friends. Well, Lord Sesshoumaru and Jaken are too! They're my best friends, like you Sasshi! Goodnight.

_August 23__rd _Lord Sesshoumaru visited me today! Er, well, yesterday… Maybe because it was oddly cold for this time of year? I told him how much I loved the princess kimono again, and about you, Sasshi. He asked if I was happy. I told him of course I am, and he gave me that almost-smile again! We walked to the cliff since I didn't want to pick flowers. I liked talking to him. I told him about Daitaro and everything else. He knows so much about me by now, it's funny, I think. But, like last year I remember, I fell asleep against his Mokumoku. I think he put his arm around me before I fell asleep, but he took me back to the shrine. He's nice, and I need to thank him again. Goodnight Sasshi, I hope you're as happy as I am!

_August 31__st _My menses began, thankfully without Lady Kaede around to poke fun at me. It hurts so much more than the other times though, and I don't know why. I bet youkai like you, Sasshi, don't get menses. Lady Kagome calls them 'periods'. I thought a period was the circle at the end of writing? Hmm. Goodnight Sasshi.

_September 4__th _My menses lasted until yesterday, almost 8 days! It was really scary, and it didn't slow down until when it just… stopped yesterday. I'm worried. Sasshi, do you ever pray for me? I hope you do. Goodnight… best friend.

_September 19__th _It's gotten colder. Lady Kagome was worried about me too when she read what I wrote, Sasshi. I had a dream a few nights ago when you were worried about me, and I was crying on your shoulder. I'm scared Sasshi, please don't scare me anymore. In order for you to enter my dreams again, you have to be happy! Haha, goodnight!

_September 27__th _Today, an inu-youkai showed up at the shrine, asking for a miko! I was scared… she looked like Sesshoumaru-sama, with the markings on her face, and hands, and even her stomach! But, her moon was a brighter blue, and had a star. But, she had dog ears, so maybe she was a hanyou? I don't know. I told her all the miko's weren't here. She just stared at me, and asked if she could come in… I was too scared to say no, and just stared at her. She's still here, sitting outside the shrine as I write. Goodnight, and please pray for my safety, Sasshi…

_October 10__th _She isn't a hanyou. She isn't an inu-youkai, either. She's an 'okami-youkai', or the wolf demon. She's like those people who killed my family! I found all of this out when she was still here in the morning. She told me her name was Kazuko, and she was an okami-youkai. She said she wouldn't hurt me, and was just coming to talk to Lady Kaede. I didn't understand. But, Lady Kaede finally arrived, and KNEW the girl! It was so strange, they were like friends! I found out a lot by listening to them—apparently, this youkai is usually around these parts this time of year, and since she doesn't desire to kill humans that haven't done anything to her, she visits the miko's and priests and gives them herbs, flowers, and many other things from wherever she came from. She didn't call her home place anything, but that's all I'll write about for now. The girl has decided to stay here and help for a few days, so I'll have more time to learn about her. My hand might just fall off for you, Sasshi… goodnight!

_October 22__nd _Kazuko is actually nice. But, a few days ago, when she was still here, Sesshoumaru-sama came to visit. I felt like they knew each other, and I was right! Maybe… they were mates a long time ago? I had asked her that before Lord Sesshoumaru came, and she laughed and said that's impossible. She told me inu-youkai mate for life, as do okami-youkai. And… they're related. Maybe she's a cousin? I can't tell. When Lord Sesshoumaru saw her, she saw him and smiled, waving and called him 'little brother'. Was she related to his mother or father, as an aunt? When Sesshoumaru-sama saw her, he pushed me away from where she was and we walked for awhile. I asked him many questions about her, but all he said about her is that he doesn't 'particularly like her'. Hmm. I'll ask her before she leaves tomorrow; we've both been too busy to talk to each other. Bye.

_November 10__th _Kazukois a liar. She said she's the sister of Sesshoumaru-sama's great-grandfather, Hatsujin! I asked her how old she is, and she answered 10,847! Ooh, I hate her! I hate liars, wolves, and people who don't care that they've lied! She's all three, and I'm so grateful she finally left. Well, maybe I should ask Sesshoumaru-sama? That'd be stupid, she's obviously lying… nobody is that old, right? Do you hate liars too, Sasshi?

_November 20__th _Hmm. Lady Kaede said she wasn't a liar, and had seen Kazuko's mother and father before. She said it did seem 'far-fetched' but was true. She was a demoness, and her mother was the one to first have the human-loving trait. Maybe that's why Sesshoumaru-sama allowed me to be with him, he had the trait too? I asked Lady Kaede and she said everybody in that family does! This was all too weird. They were playing a joke on me, I know it! Oh, I forgot last time to add that Kazuko also looked weird. Her eyes would change color… they 'transitioned' from Lord Sesshoumaru's gold to a bright silver to an even brighter blue like her crescent moon, and just kept changing! Her hair was silver, at least. But I swore she had blue streaks. Lady Kaede told me it was a form of controlling genetics, to get the baby to look however you want. Yeah, it's a big joke. Goodnight Sasshi the not-liar, I hope they stop lying to me!

_November 30__th _Lord Sesshoumaru visited today, bringing me a new kimono. He told me I was getting taller! I was so happy he was noticing my 'womanly changes' as Lady Kaede had put it. I spent most of my time with Milord today talking about that weird girl and what everyone had told me, and I told him it couldn't possibly be true. He said 'It is." We spent the next few minutes just staring at each other. I can't believe he was lying to me too! I bet I looked stupid with my eyes wide open. Jaken came running up to us and said they had to leave because Jaken got tackled by a wolf and didn't want to be here. I didn't think they would, but they left. It was strange until I came back to the shrine… Kazuko was here again! She told me she had to talk to her 'little brother' and laughed, walking away. My life couldn't get stranger I think. Goodnight, Sasshi. Oh yeah, Lady Kagome told me it's weird how I'm best friends with a book.

_December 12__th _Kazuko is causing a lot of trouble, I think. She's kinda crazy. InuYasha called her a 'psycho' and told me more about her. He said he remembered her from a long time ago, and that she was here to visit his father. She didn't know he was dead, and that's when she showed her power—she can summon wolves… they're made out of the spirits of all the people she's killed. She summoned them to kill whoever killed her great-nephew. But InuYasha told me she would never kill a little innocent girl. Should I still be scared, Sasshi?

_December 23__rd _I was 'approached' by Kazuko today, Sasshi! She was asking about how I knew Sesshoumaru-sama, and her wolf ears kept twitching with each word I said. It was kinda creepy. But I guess she is kinda nice, she answered questions I had. Maybe she isn't a liar, Sasshi? I hope not… but I told her why I'm scared of her, and she said she could understand the wolf thing. She's leaving tomorrow to go visit Sesshoumaru-sama in the Western Lands. She calls him Sesshoumaru-kun. It's kinda funny… well, goodnight, Sasshi!

_December 31__st _It's almost another year done with. This year was very fun, Sasshi! You're running out of pages… would you like a husband or a brother, Sasshi? Haha, well I'll just try to put more pages inside of you, Sasshi. Well, goodnight. In the morning… it's going to be a new year.

**A/N: Well, most questions were answered I hope. Also, this picture I found was semi-inspiration, not particularly for this chapter, but probably for future chapters. http:/i30(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/c315/GlintChan/PhotoAlbums/AliltwoclosethereRinandSessO(dot)jpg) It's adorable, right? But there are about two questions I think I should clear up: Rin was never given a birthday, so I made it April 24****th****. She is now 14 at the end of this chapter. And I'm avoiding raping characters like the plague in this story -_- So don't expect sex until… a few chapters xDWell, thanks for reading :D**


	3. Year 3

**Well, I hope you guys are enjoying this story. I feel like it starts off badly each time, gets good in the middle, and then tapers off. Hmm. - I finally went back and edited this chapter after about 2 years. The story is still the same, even though I do wish to change it. Anyways, please review or PM me with any mistakes you still find. Thank you!**

Disclaimer: InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I only own Kazuko and Hatsujin.

_January 1st_ Well, it's my first journal entry from the morning. I didn't sleep all night! Y'know Sasshi, time really is flying by pretty fast. Time used to go so much slower when I was younger, especially before Sesshoumaru-sama revived me. Each second used to feel like a day… well, I'll talk to you later.

_January 12th_ These past few days, nothing extraordinary has happened. We've been leading normal lives I guess. But, I still wonder about everyone and everything. Lady Kaede thinks I daydream too much. I don't believe her. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_January 26__th_ Another year down! I'm almost 15… Lady Kagome says I'm almost done growing. I've gotten a lot taller, but I noticed that compared to the other girls my age, I'm still short, have no hips, or a 'chest' as I found that they call it. Well, hopefully in the last 3 years I have here, maybe I'll grow out more. Lord Sesshoumaru visited, but I didn't talk much. He asked me what was wrong, and I said it was nothing. I feel bad now that I didn't tell him. Goodnight…

_January 30th_ More nightmares have been coming. They started two nights ago, and it starts off with me, Lord Sesshoumaru, and you Sasshi. We're walking that mountain that Naraku was at, and I noticed I had stopped because of some weird barrier. You guys kept on going though, leaving me behind. It stopped until last night; it kept going with me screaming and the spirits of my family asking why I followed an inu-youkai around. I couldn't answer them like I wanted to, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_February 10th_ Lady Kagome told me she noticed how I've been having a lot of nightmares, and 'self-esteem issues'. I knew what she meant, but she suggested 'depression'. I couldn't believe it! She thinks I'm always sad! That's not it at all, I just get sad sometimes. But… the nightmares won't stop.

_February 27th_ Lord Sesshoumaru visited me again today! I tried to be really happy by him, and I think it worked. But, I still feel like he knows that something is bothering me. I remembered to ask him if Kazuko had visited him, and he gave me a simple 'Yes'. We had let Jaken come with us, and as soon as Lord Sesshoumaru finished saying that, Jaken burst out yelling about how she had invaded the Palace, and was living with them now, and Lord Sesshoumaru hadn't done anything about it! Jaken got kicked in the face so hard by Lord Sesshoumaru his eye bled. It was funny until he said he couldn't see! Ha, I'm sorry you missed it, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_March 12th_ I've been trying my hardest these past few days to busy myself and not be talked to by other kids in the village who only want to make fun of me, or Lady Kaede to lecture me. All I've really said in the past few days to her was when I asked why none of the other humans really liked me. She said they were jealous, but I know that's not true. I asked Lady Kagome and she said it was because they were scared of Sesshoumaru-sama coming! Now I understood. They must think I'm part demon? I don't know, Sasshi.

_March 21st_ I asked a girl who was in the meadow a few days ago why the other girls my age didn't like me. She said they all thought I was weird—I guess I am. Visits from a Demon Lord, staying in the shrine almost all day, and I told her I wasn't. She said even if I lived in the village, didn't know Lord Sesshoumaru, she still wouldn't like me. She called me an ugly whore. I'm trying hard not to cry, Sasshi…

_March 30th_ It was weird, Lord Sesshoumaru visited today. But, he's never come this late in the month before, so I wondered about it out loud to him. He told me he hadn't noticed, and asked if it mattered. I think he knew. I get my menses at the end of the month usually, and I know I must smell ten times worse to him. I apologized to him, and he asked me why. I felt embarrassed in front of him, and I knew I shouldn't have. We finished our walk, and I didn't say much again this time, either. Goodnight.

_April 10th_ One of the boys from the village around my age got badly injured today, and had to come to the shrine for Lady Kaede. She wasn't here, but all he had were some deep gashes, so I could help him. He was blushing when I told him that, and I didn't know why. But, when I went to wrap the gashes on his thigh, this thing under his hakama started to… bulge, I guess. It got big, and I told him I'll go get Lady Kagome to take care of it. He told me it's just because I was really pretty and… soft. I don't understand. I'll ask Lady Kagome tomorrow, Sasshi.

_April 15th_ He's a pervert, that guy I helped! Lady Kagome told me it's a disgusting thing that had happened, and well; I got the longer version of the 'sex talk'. I had had enough the first time about babies, but now how to MAKE babies! She said it wasn't as disgusting as she made it out to be, but she told me I should wait to do anything until I'm older, and in love. But still, Sasshi, I 'aroused' that boy, Lady Kagome told me. Maybe I am pretty? Well, perverts think almost anybody is pretty. Well, goodnight, Sasshi.

_April 24th_ I'm 15, and exactly 3 years left of this place. Lord Sesshoumaru of course visited me, but so did Kazuko. Lord Sesshoumaru gave me a 3 layer kimono… it was a deep purple with violet and white under-layers. It was my second 'princess' kimono, and it made me so happy. Kazuko gave me three new obi, saying she noticed I only had three, and she felt bad for what she said awhile back. I put all my stuff in my room, and Kazuko stayed with Lady Kaede to talk. Me and Sesshoumaru-sama walked to a new meadow, and the flowers went up to my waist! I picked as many as I could, giving the prettiest ones to Lord Sesshoumaru. It was a fun day. I waved to him as he left again, before getting to hug him again! He's nice to me, I realized. Goodnight, Sasshi…

_May 10th_ Something hit me the other day… did Sesshoumaru-sama notice my 'breasts'? The new kimono he got me fits me, even my chest! All my others were pulled to tight and didn't 'accentuate' like Lady Kagome laughed as I tried on my new kimono. I don't know whether to be angry or happy. I don't want to be angry, so I think I'll be happy, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_May 17th_ Lord Sesshoumaru visited for the last time before summer started. It's going to be a really rainy summer too, so the chances of him coming were lowered even more than their -10%. I asked him why he never came during the summer, and he told me he just didn't like going out in the summer. I think that's a lie, since we traveled a lot during our summers together! Well, it was still nice talking to him. Goodnight.

_May 25th_ That weird Kazuko girl… woman… whatever she is, came by again. She's been coming by a lot, for InuYasha and a special potion from Lady Kaede, and I asked Kazuko why she did it finally today. She said it's a potion that keeps the effects of Mating Season to a minimum. I told her that mating season was almost over, and she told me something really weird: For okami-youkai and inu-youkai, mating season is summer, not spring! She said it's because of the weird genetic controlling, and I guess that could be true. How would I know? Goodnight, Sasshi.

_June 5th_ This year sure has taken a long time to get to this point. It rains almost every day now, so maybe that's it? I'd never let you get wet, Sasshi! Oh, I talked to InuYasha about mating season, and he said for humans it's in the spring, and since he's part human, it's mainly spring. Then again, he's a guy, so it shouldn't matter... I wish Kazuko would finally tell a lie so I wouldn't get so angry when I find out she's not lying. Goodnight.

_June 20th_ I always know Sesshoumaru-sama won't come during the summer, but sometimes it gets really boring without him. So, I've taken to a new thing Lady Kaede and Lady Kagome told me I should do… garden. There are these two big dirt patches outside of the shrine, and even though it's past spring, I can still plant flowers to bloom for autumn! I planted a lot of flowers today, and now I can water them every day and care for them! I'm happy, Sasshi, really happy. Goodnight.

_June 30th_ I wish Milord would visit during the summer. I can't stop thinking about it, and it's really getting on my nerves. I know he must never think of me the same way I think of him. I feel kinda ashamed of what I've been thinking… Sasshi, do you think I'm still 'innocent'? Hmm, goodnight.

_July 10th_ It's either very hot, or very cold. The thunderstorms make it cold, and the days when it doesn't rain makes it so hot! I want to curse at the Sun God and Moon Goddess for what they're doing! Goodnight, I hope I can sleep.

_July 20th_ I was gardening when Kazuko came by, with InuYasha behind her. Kazuko heard me curse the Sun God for the heat, and she told me that's rude, since I'm talking about her father. Even InuYasha laughed at her, so maybe that's the real lie I'm looking for? How can SHE be related to a God? Wouldn't she have… manners? Powers? I don't know. Goodnight.

_July 31st_ I've been really tired lately, and my menses have started yet again. I don't like this, at all. Please kill me, Sasshi! Haha, I'm just kidding. I think I'd die from embarrassment before a book killed me. Goodnight then, Sasshi.

_August 7th_ Lady Kaede is going on a one-month trip today, so I won't see her till mid-September. Lady Kagome is staying with me, but I wanted to go with Lady Kaede. I miss travelling. I wonder if Ah-Un misses me? I hope so! Goodnight.

_August 23rd_ I'm happy I didn't go with Lady Kaede! Lord Sesshoumaru visited me on the 20th, oddly enough. I think this might be a long story, so I'm sorry if I hurt you Sasshi! Well, it started off as a clear day, and so I showed Sesshoumaru-sama my budding garden, and then we walked to the cliff. But, it started to thunder and lightning, so we went back to the shrine. It was raining really hard, and it seemed like it would never stop. Sesshoumaru-sama didn't want to go out in the rain… well; after I told him he shouldn't go just because of rain he decided that he'd stay. I think I fell asleep against his Mokumoku again. I tired myself from talking to him, and Sasshi… I think he might've read you. I left you on my futon, and when I woke up, I had a blanket around me and I think Sesshoumaru-sama was sleeping, too. But he's a light sleeper, so I didn't move. I think I was in his lap, I couldn't tell, and I went back to sleep. I woke up when he told me the rain stopped, and he was leaving. I hugged him before he left, and this time, he put his hand on my back, like he was kinda hugging me back! I was really happy. But, I found you by my futon, on your 'face' not your 'back'. So if he read you… I think I'd… I don't know… goodnight…

_August 31st_ I still can't tell if he read you, Sasshi. But that passage was really long! I always blush when I reread it every night… I wonder if I'm interesting. You're interesting, Sasshi. I redrew you, and I couldn't be happier with how you turned out! I'm happy you're my best friend, Sasshi… maybe one of my other wishes will come true? One has, two more to go. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_September 4th_ Will re-wishing work? I think a wish's timeout is around a year, and so I tried to find dandelion puffs. There were none, but one early flower in my garden bloomed; I picked the petals off. Sasshi, I picked the last petal on 'I wish Sasshi-chan was real." So… please come to life, so we can be friends? Thank you if you do, Sasshi! Goodnight!

_September 19th_ Lady Kaede came back a few days ago. She said Kazuko probably wasn't coming this year, as Lady Kaede had gone to the Western Lands, stopping at the Palace to rest. Kazuko was having a lot of fun torturing Jaken and fighting with Sesshoumaru-sama, she called it 'sparring' or something. They were training, I guess. So, that's one good thing again this year!

_September 27th _Lady Kagome read you today, the first time it seemed this year. I forgot to write a happy birthday letter in here for Daitaro. He's almost 2! But, she didn't mind. She said it was really cute, my passage on Sesshoumaru-sama visiting during the summer, I mean. She said it really sounded like I loved him. I told her it's always been true, I've always loved him like a father! I don't understand why they think it's more than that. But… some things I've thought about Sesshoumaru-sama I wouldn't think of my real father. Well, goodnight Sasshi.

_October 10th _My garden is in bloom! There are so many pretty flowers; I spend almost all my free time looking at them! I'm practicing my 'grammar' by writing 'haiku' about them. Lady Kagome taught me other 'poem' styles, like couplets, but I like haiku the best. Goodnight Sasshi, I hope you like my haiku!

_October 22nd_ I think I caught another cold… my throat aches, my eyes are always red and watery, and I feel like I don't breathe enough. Am I dying? …Lord Sesshoumaru visited me today. He wished me to feel better, and he stayed with me for a while. I think I slept for the most part, and I'm certain he's read you by now, Sasshi. I've spent the night crying, because I found you opened, right next to the spot he was sitting against my wall. Things might be 'awkward' for a very long time… I'm sorry, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_November 10th_ I'm still coughing and feeling really hot sometimes, but other than that, I'm fine. I'm still embarrassed by what happened with Sesshoumaru-sama… I bet he's not proud of me anymore… maybe even so ashamed he'll never come back. I feel sick again… goodnight.

_November 18th_ Sasshi, do you like Sesshoumaru-sama too? I'm waiting for him, more than anything else. I can't concentrate! Please, bring me a good dream tonight, Sasshi… goodnight.

_November 29th_ My menses don't bring any more pain than I'm already feeling. Sesshoumaru-sama hasn't visited. Maybe my fears are true? I hope not… goodnight.

_December 10th_ I hope he visits soon. It's getting really cold, and I know he likes the cold, so maybe he'll be in a better mood? I hope so. I wish I could apologize for my thoughts on him, but he hasn't visited, so… well, goodnight, Sasshi.

_December 23rd_ He visited! He finally came back! I ran to him and hugged him and cried, trying to apologize. I knew I shouldn't have done that, and he pushed me back a little to hand me something. It was a winter kimono, thicker than the rest… it felt really nice and warm. This one had 3 layers like my other one, but it just seemed more… elegant. It was black with golden and silver stars and swirls and flowers, and gray and white under layers… it was really nice. I told him I was sorry for what I wrote and for I had done a few moments earlier. He told me it was okay… he seemed nicer to me than he would've been, for some reason. I wish every visit could be like this… well, goodnight, Sasshi.

_December 31st_ Even though I'm happy, my menses always bring me down. My yukatas get stained, and when it bleeds through when I wash them, or if I'm going to take a bath, the water turns red. Also, my breasts feel larger... I feel sick. I'm going to bed. Well, tomorrow brings me even closer to the last 3 years of living here.

**It felt really weird typing this for some reason. I don't like the way it turned out… I usually write the Sesshoumaru visits for the month I'm on, then the ending, then the beginning, then summer. I think it messes up the timeline. Rin is 15 at the end of this chapter, too. Well, thank you for reading my story :)**


	4. Year 4

**A/N: Thank you all for the nice reviews! It's nice to see how many people like this story and want it to continue. It lets me be able to write these things much faster, and give a decent chapter. Well, I hope you like Year 4.**

**Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns InuYasha… and I own Kazuko, Hatsujin, and Sasshi :D**

_January 10__th _Wow, Sasshi… the time is just going right past us! I'm almost 16, and you're almost 4… I think in demon years a 4 year old is still a baby? Or do they age very quickly, then very slowly? I don't know, but Lord Sesshoumaru is really 500, so don't feel bad if you're actually really old too, Sasshi! Haha, goodnight!

_January_ _26__th_ 2 years until I rejoin Lord Sesshoumaru! Even though when he visited I told him that, he said I would have to wait until my 18th birthday. I don't know why, since it's only a 2 month and 28 day difference! I think I should be allowed to leave now; I don't like not travelling too far outside of this village. I told Milord this, and he told me to have patience. He's never tried this, I think, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_February 10__th _I tripped the other day on a root, and the moment from so many years ago flashed back to me… I screamed and stayed there for awhile. I thought I had died again. Do you think I'll go to Heaven, Sasshi? Last time I died… I went to Hell. Goodnight.

_February 20th _I told Lady Kaede of what happened finally. Lady Kagome was there too, so I think she heard it too. I asked Lady Kaede if I'll go to Heaven, and she asked why I would bring this up. I told her I just wanted to know. She drew a long breath, and told me people who have been revived go to Heaven, but she paused before she said Heaven. Have I done something in her eyes to be deemed impure and able to go to Hell? I didn't ask anything else. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_March 10__th_ I asked Lady Kagome if I was impure. She told me of course not, and I 'inquired' about what Lady Kaede had said. She wouldn't look me in the eyes, and wouldn't say anything! Why is nobody telling me why I'm going to Hell? I think I should know! I bet it's because I talked to Kazuko. I knew there was something bad about her! Sasshi, do you know? Please visit me in a dream and tell me… well, goodnight.

_March 12__th_ Well, thanks for giving me dreams, but… they're weird. Last night and the night before it was a quick look at you looking sad, then a blurry sight of Lord Sesshoumaru, then you smiling! Wait, is Sesshoumaru-sama going to take me back to Hell and just leave me there, again? I don't think he'd let me die again… I taught him compassion, remember, Sasshi? Goodnight, Sasshi.

_March 30__th_ I'm trying to figure out what you told me, Sasshi. It's hard… please visit me again and tell me what you meant! I've been having the same exact dream every night… it's always starts off with a flash of you with a 'somber' expression on, then a hazy vision of Sesshoumaru-sama shows, then it's you smiling, then I wake up… I don't understand, Sasshi. Maybe you should talk? Goodnight.

_April 8__th_ I can't wait to see Sesshoumaru-sama again, because you won't stop with these dreams, Sasshi-chan! Maybe he'll tell me? I hope so. Well, I haven't been feeling good lately, so goodnight, Sasshi.

_June 7__th_ My arm feels so much better, Sasshi! I haven't written in you since… April 8th. I have a lot to tell you… Lord Sesshoumaru visited me on my birthday, with a six layer kimono this time. He told me that I'm viewed as ready in the youkai world, but not in the human world. The six layers show the 60 years of maturity (for demons it's 60 years… that's weird.) and it was a beautiful kimono. It was red, orange, and gold with black embroidered patterns. I almost cried when he gave it! I hugged him like other times he'd given me gifts, but, I think I overstepped my limits and threw my arms around his neck, and one arm fell near the Mokumoku, and the other… have you ever noticed Sesshoumaru-sama has a chest plate with very sharp spikes on it, Sasshi? My arm was 'impaled' by them. He said he noticed me not moving and I went 'limp'. He also told me he removed my arm from the spikes (the longest spike could barely be seen coming out the other end of my arm) and he told me my arm was splattering bright red blood everywhere. Not only had it hit an artery, but the blood loss caused me to faint. I woke up two days later, with Sesshoumaru-sama by me. He stayed with me for a few days, and visited me last week to see if my arm was better. Well, now I can write again, but my arm still hurts and is bandaged. I'll be able to take them off in September, since the wounds are very large. I'm happy to be able to still move my fingers, which I couldn't do right away. I hope that's everything, Sasshi. My arm hurts a lot more now, so goodnight!

_June 20__th_ I forgot to tell you, I never got to ask Sesshoumaru-sama about the dream. Maybe if he visits this summer I'll ask. Wait, didn't Kazuko say this was mating season for him? Oh… that'd be awkward, then. But, Sesshoumaru-sama never seemed to show anything about it a few years ago, so it wouldn't matter, right? Well, Goodnight.

_June 30__th_ I looked carefully at the new kimono today. It's too pretty to wear every day, so I've decided to only wear it when Sesshoumaru-sama comes. I tried it on of course, and Lady Kagome walked in on me changing! I barely had my yukata off, and Lady Kagome apologized for not knocking and walked away, closing my door. I'm still embarrassed about it… well, at least the kimono fits, Sasshi… Goodnight.

_July 10__th_ Lady Kagome came up to me a few days ago and apologized further for what had happened. I noticed that I was still short compared to her, and I thought back to when I could just barely get my hands to wrap around Sesshoumaru-sama's neck to hug. I asked her if I was done growing yet, and she said I might get taller by a few centimeters, but that's all! She told me not to worry because I'm a 'B-cup'. I'll ask her about it sometime else, I was too busy realizing I'm still only 157 centimeters! I really am short… goodnight.

_July 20__th_ Lady Kagome explained things after I asked her what a 'b-cup' was. She said it's a way of measuring 'breasts'. She said I'm probably a 70B, and I asked if that was good or bad. She blushed and told me it was good for a short girl like me. So… I'm really just a girl? Will I always be a little girl? Sasshi, I bet a lot of guys want you for marriage… Goodnight.

_July 31__st_ Lady Kaede noticed me being quieter than usual, and she asked what's wrong. I didn't have the guts to tell her, so… I lied. Well, not really. I told her I was sad because I missed Sesshoumaru-sama, and that's true, but not the big problem. Well, goodnight, Sasshi.

_August 13__th_ Lady Kaede told me that Kazuko will be visiting this year and next year, and she didn't bother about the year I wouldn't be around for winter. Was… she sad I would be leaving? I'll be sad too, but maybe I'll visit sometimes? I'll probably have to, to give birth and get medicines and other things. But… I'd have to find a husband before any of that. Who would marry me, Sasshi? I don't know. Goodnight.

_August 26__th_ You have a sick sense of humor Sasshi-chan! You gave me that weird dream again, but instead of you, it was Kazuko appearing happy, then Sesshoumaru-sama, then Kazuko appearing… 'disturbed'. Do you really think Sesshoumaru-sama would marry me? You're crazy, Sasshi. Goodnight, and don't show me that dream anymore!

_September 6__th_ I took my bandages off today! You can still see scabs where I was cut through, and scars of the smaller ones, but it's almost healed. I'm so happy I'm not bandaged anymore, though! It used to hurt to write a lot, but now I think I don't I feel anything in my arm! Wait, that's bad. Uhh, goodnight, Sasshi-chan.

_September 13__th _Sesshoumaru-sama came and he gave me that almost-smile when he saw my arm without bandages! I told him about it still needed to heal more, and I might be scarred, but that's okay. We walked to the cliff, and watched the sun set together, and I got this weird feeling in my chest, like a tightening, and it got worse when I looked at Milord. I didn't understand why that happened, but when I hugged him before he left, he told me not to. I looked up at him, wondering why it hurt my chest when he said that… but he then told me didn't want me to get hurt again! Now I see, in case I touch his chest plate again! He's smart, Sasshi-chan. Haha, goodnight!

_September 30__th_ That girl Kazuko came early this year. I think I might be scared for my life, again. She's insane, Sasshi! She goes around setting things on fire, cutting down trees with this huge axe I've never seen her use before, and she bit a head off of another demon when he came into the meadow I was in finding last-minute herbs. I thanked her, but she said she did it because she was hungry. She ate the entire serpent demon. I hope she dies from the serpent's poison. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_October 14__th_ I told Lady Kagome and Lady Kaede about how insane that girl is. I told them she bit the head off a demon and would go around setting lesser demons on fire. They said she was 'patrolling' and only killed demons that posed a threat. She almost set Shippo on fire and was going to eat him! He's lucky I was there waiting for him to come back before Kazuko jumped out and got him. I hope she leaves soon. Goodnight.

_October 30__th_ Kazuko has been sleeping for the past few days, so I've had 'inner peace'. It's relaxing to not always see something on fire, in that weird shade. It's a bluish-purple, and if it wasn't deadly, it'd be really pretty! Well, goodnight!

_November 10__th_ The liar told me Sesshoumaru-sama was on a month-long trip and wouldn't visit me. I don't believe her, but it won't matter if he doesn't come or not, because he's done it before. I always get this weird tightening I my chest when he comes though, and I wish I knew why… maybe if he doesn't visit for awhile, it won't happen again. Well, goodnight.

_November 20__th_ Lady Kagome is crazy about me being love with somebody. She told me she read you Sasshi-chan, and said the tightening I felt was the same way for her and InuYasha. She just wants excuses to say I'm in love with Milord! I know I'm not, that's crazy. He's a taiyoukai, and he always talks about hating humans (except me, hopefully) but Lady Kagome said it's not about him, it's about _my _feelings. I'm starting to really not like her, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_November 30__th_ Hmm, there wasn't a visit from Lord Sesshoumaru this month. So, Kazuko wasn't lying I guess. Not that I didn't believe her, it just seemed weird that he'd be away the entire month. It was also scary, because that Kazuko set part of the forest on fire. She's a 'pyromaniac', InuYasha said. She's really creepy, Sasshi-chan. Goodnight.

_December 12__th_ When I return to the palace in the Western Lands, will Kazuko still be there? I hope not. I don't want to die in my sleep, Sasshi. Well, goodnight!

_December 21__st_ Sesshoumaru-sama visited today! It was nice of him to let me walk with him in the snow. It was really pretty, and whenever I said something, he would say something back most of the time. Usually, it would just be me talking a lot and he'd say something sometimes, but now it feels like a conversation. I'm really happy now, Sasshi! Goodnight!

_December 31__st_ Well… this year has been good, Sasshi. Well, besides my embarrassment and injuries, but they seem to always happen. In less than a month, I'll be counting down my last year here. It's kinda sad… but it's also good for me. It's 'surreal'. It's like it isn't happening, Sasshi… I'll miss you. But, we still have a few more months, so let's make the most of it! Okay, Goodnight, Sasshi-chan!

**A/N: Tell me what you think. It was kind of hard to write the beginning… also, I think that for the last two years of this, I don't have any ideas. I have the years after outlined basically, but nothing within. If you'd like to see something more, like fluff, any idea or request you have, etc, please tell me! Rin is 16 at the end of this chapter (so old…) One more thing... Rin is Japanese. Japanese girls usually don't hit puberty for a long time (around 15) and I made the mistake of starting early, but it can still happen. But, a 70B is very close to a C, and that's slightly larger than normal, but not drastic. She's also 5'1" if you can't convert centimeters. I thought I should explain that, so... Thanks for reading :D**


	5. Year 5

**A/N: Year 5… I hope this one goes good. It feels kinda OOC to me, but it's up to you. Thank all of you for reviewing and supporting this, I'm thinking of making a variant of this with a dark fic or Izayoi or Sessmom with Inu-Taisho, I'm not sure. But don't expect a daily update anymore, my studies resume tomorrow but I'll try to update every other day.**

**Disclaimer: InuYasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.**

_January 4__th _Nothing much has happened in the past week I haven't written in you… besides I now know Kazuko is leaving on the 26th, I have nothing else to say, so goodnight Sasshi.

_January_ _26__th_ I think Lady Kaede is really sad that I'm entering my last year with her. She tried to be happy, but I knew she was sad behind it all. Sesshoumaru-sama visited me today, but with no kimono. I didn't mind, I have a lot of kimono from him already, even if some of the older ones are too short now. When he left, it was dusk so I walked back to the Shrine. Kazuko was leaving, and she stopped to say goodbye to me. She asked me if I planned on marrying someday. I told her yes, and she smirked I think, and told Sesshoumaru-sama would tear me to pieces. I don't like to think of the two ways it could be interpreted. My hand hurts from writing, so I'll go to sleep. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_February 10__th _I haven't gotten any sleep, Sasshi… my menses are still hanging around from January, and I didn't really care to ask Lady Kagome about it being normal or bad. I'm growing up, Sasshi; I'll have to learn to accept things now. …I feel weird saying that. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_February 17th _Lord Sesshoumaru visited today, and I wondered why he still does. I thought that after the first year, his visits would get less frequent, but I guess not. It's kinda nice, Sasshi. He talks to me more now than he has. I bet Lady Kagome is gonna make fun of me for saying that, so I'm going to sleep to avoid any more embarrassment. Goodnight!

_March 19__th_ This year is going well so far… Lady Kagome told me my handwriting is really good, and she's teaching me how to 'talk like a lady', but she doesn't talk like that herself, so how would she know? I don't know. Are you a Lady of some sort of lands, Sasshi? Well, goodnight.

_March 25__th_ Milord visited me today, and the tightening in my chest was really bad when we watched the sunset. I don't want to believe its love Sasshi; he's like a father to me. What do you think I should do? I shouldn't tell him, because he might not visit me anymore, and won't allow me to rejoin him… I'll think more about it later. It's late, so goodnight.

_April 11__th_ It's been really rainy, and it's killing the flowers. I planted seeds for spring back in February, and they're drowning right now from the downpours. But, I always like the smell after it rains. Do you like it, too, Sasshi? Well, goodnight.

_April 24__th_ 17 years of my life have just gone by like that… 10 years almost since that day. Milord of course visited me, with a 7 layer kimono. It was beautiful, and it was yellow this time. The sleeves and bottom had these strange white and gold patterns… I don't know what they are, but it's really pretty. I try to tell you what it looks like so you can get a better picture of me, Sasshi… you only see me in a sleeping yukata, never one of my pretty kimono. I hugged Milord, but I was careful to put my arms around his waist. He did something I never expected, too! He hugged me back, Sasshi. He finally hugged me back, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack the way my heart was pounding! I think… I think I might love him. I don't want to admit it, Sasshi. I'm too young to love, right? I'm not an adult for another whole year! Haha, goodnight.

_May 10__th_ My menses have begun, and they got on the white under layer of my black three-layer kimono. I might've ruined it, Sasshi. I tried really hard to get the stain out on the white, grey, and even the darker stain on the black, but it just wouldn't come out! Do youkai like you have these problems? I hope not, Sasshi, I'm so sad. It was one of my favorites. Well… goodnight.

_May 21__st_ Sesshoumaru-sama visited me, and I had gotten over the kimono finally. I got to wear my 7 layer kimono, and I felt really good in it! I told Sesshoumaru-sama this, and he gave me the almost smile again. It was nice, and I think I don't _love_ him, but maybe… like him. Yeah, it's just my affection to all the kimono he has given me! Sasshi, I finally figured out how I feel. Well, I'm going to sleep happy today. Goodnight!

_June 9__th_ Summer has begun, and my visits from Sesshoumaru-sama end. Well, only for a few months, but still. I've been thinking about my 'affection' and so-called love. Lady Kagome laughed at my excuses, and said affection and love are the same thing. She said I should just tell him. Honestly, I'm kinda scared. What happens if he hates me, Sasshi?

_June 30__th_ Summer isn't really eventful, is it Sasshi? Lady Kaede has been sick these past 2 weeks, and she's getting better, but… It's not fun without Lady Kagome to talk to, not being allowed to leave the Shrine until Lady Kaede doesn't need me anymore, and no visits from Lord Sesshoumaru. I hope it gets better… goodnight.

_July 10__th_ I'm excited for something, finally! I got some seeds from the now healthy Lady Kaede for fall and winter flowers again, and I'm gonna plant them on a special day. I'll tell you about it on that day, Sasshi… it's really important to me. I feel like a 'giddy' little kid again! Well, goodnight!

_July 16__th_ 10 years ago on this day, I was rescued by Milord. I've told you how I was attacked by wolves Sasshi, right? Well, I always remembered the day I was resurrected. I always feel kinda better on this day, and I would always try to make the biggest bouquet of flowers for Milord as a way of thanks, I guess. But, I'm planting flowers today instead of picking, which I think is better. I remember when I went back to where I died once… it was covered in pretty, colorful flowers. The entire path was, Sasshi. It was beautiful.

_July 31__st_ Lady Kagome came back to the shrine today. I think she left awhile ago without telling me, only Lady Kaede. I asked her what she did, and she said she never left. She was just at home, because Daitaro had gotten sick too. I miss Daitaro, but InuYasha said he shouldn't be left with me all day, instead he should be with his father. Well, that's probably the most eventful thing that's gonna happen this summer. So… goodnight.

_August 7__th_ Today, I saw something amazing, Sasshi. I think I saw you. I went to the meadow to get away from the Shrine, but when I got there, there was a girl there. She was a youkai, like you. She had the same hair style like you, same hair color; even the eyes and eye color were the same! She looked at me when I just stood there. We stayed where we were for a few seconds, and I bet I looked stupid with wide open eyes and mouth. She had a diary like mine in her hands. I ran away really fast because… well, I don't know. But, she looks so much like you, Sasshi!

_August 23__rd_ I even looked at the old pictures and the new pictures I've drawn of you Sasshi, and you look exactly like the girl in the meadow. The hair, eyes, markings, clothes, everything! I think it might've been fate or destiny for us to at least see each other once. I've been going back to the meadow to see if she was there or if she had left anything, but no. Goodnight…

_August 31__st_ I can't get that girls face out of my mind! I knew she was a demon, and I shouldn't be scared of demons, but still… it happened. I saw her, and then I saw you. I ran away, in case it was a dream about to turn into a nightmare. I guess it wasn't a dream, Sasshi. Well, goodnight.

_September 4__th_ I'm still thinking about what happened awhile ago, Sasshi. That girl looked exactly like how I had drawn you. Maybe it was just a coincidence? I don't know, but maybe I should forget about it. But, I always imagined you to write about me as well as yourself, so was it kinda like destiny, that we meet while she's writing in her journal? I don't know, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_September 19__th _Lady Kaede said Kazuko would visit late this year and leave early. I was really happy about it, but she had a 'somber' look on her face. I asked her why she was sad, and she didn't say anything. She wouldn't happen to actually like Kazuko's visits, did she? I knew old ladies were secretly crazy.

_September 27__th_ Hmm, no Sesshoumaru-sama this month. I'm not worried, but Lady Kagome laughed and asked if I 'longed' for him. She's kinda mean about the whole 'love' thing. I don't think it's love, but she's trying to force me to love him! It's kinda creepy, the way her voice gets lower, and her face suddenly has weird shadows on it. I've had nightmares of her, Sasshi.

_October 10__th_ Lady Kagome said it as rude how I talked about her in my last passage. I finally got to laugh at her, and she sulked the rest of the day. Daitaro came by today, and he's gotten really big. He's only 2, but looks 5 or 6! He's walking and trying to talk, and he's really cute. Now I really want a kid, Sasshi! Wait, not like that, I meant, when I'm older and found love and everything. Well, goodnight.

_October 22__nd_ Lord Sesshoumaru visited today, and I made a bouquet of the blooming fall flowers. He always accepts my flowers, but I never know where he puts them. I also wonder where Jaken has been, or if he's dead yet. Haha, I could see Jaken getting punted from Sesshoumaru-sama to Kazuko back and forth! I feel sorry for him. I asked Sesshoumaru-sama if Jaken was okay, and he said he was. Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't talk a lot, so I wonder if he doesn't like me asking questions? I think it's too late for him to do anything about it, though, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_November 10__th_ Kazuko arrived a few days ago. She didn't seem happy or anything. She was almost like… Lord Sesshoumaru. She was 'aloof' and just sat around. At least she isn't causing trouble. Yet. Goodnight, Sasshi-chan.

_November 20__th_ Kazuko hasn't been really active lately. She just goes out and sleeps near the river. I wonder why she isn't sick yet. But, what if she's saving up energy now and later will just go insane and destroy things? I don't think it'll happen, but still, Sasshi. Goodnight.

_November 30__th_ My winter flowers should bloom soon, Sasshi. They should've already, but I guess that they don't want to come out. I wouldn't come out too if Kazuko was visiting. Haha, goodnight.

_December 12__th_ Today, Kazuko invited me to the frozen lake with the waterfall. It seemed weird that she was nice today, but I did. She asked me what death was like. I told her, since she didn't seem hostile. She seemed… sad. She took her necklace off, and handed it to me. She told me it was a mermaid's tear, and held her mother's blessing. She said the world didn't need another hanyou. Kazuko told me her mother would come soon, and she had to leave. I don't understand why she did any of this, and I still really don't. But, Kazuko took a knife out. It was decorated and looked like one that was for show. She lifted it up, and she pierced the crystal in her chest, Sasshi. Light burst out, and those weird souls poured out, and she fell to the ground, and she just… vanished away in the wind like Kagura had. Had she killed herself, Sasshi? I wish I knew more. I don't think I'll sleep tonight, I'm scared.

_December 15__th _I talked to Lady Kaede after she asked where Kazuko had gone. I told her what happened, and Lady Kaede said she wasn't dead—well, she said her body was gone, but her soul wasn't, and she could get a new body later. Lady Kaede said she had done it a long time ago, to hide from her mother's wrath. Lady Kaede didn't understand what Kazuko meant, so neither do I. Why would she be scared of her mother? I'll wear her necklace from now on. I still don't get the 'The world doesn't need another hanyou' thing she said to me. She wasn't that bad though, I think. Goodnight, Sasshi.

_December 22__nd_ The winter flowers bloomed two days ago. They're white, blue, purple, and some even came up in different mixed colors, like grey and purple on one. Lord Sesshoumaru told me they were nice. I thanked him and hugged him, and we got to walk while it snowed lightly. I love it when he visits, Sasshi. I love him. I won't try to stop it, or try to stop the tightening in my chest… unless someone else comes into my life, I'll love Sesshoumaru-sama.

_December 31__st_ I can't believe it Sasshi. It's time for my last 4 months here… I'll be 18 soon, and ready to re-join Milord. I swear I'll never forget you Sasshi, or my time spent here. Thank you… goodnight.

**A/N: This took me awhile to write. Also, some people said Rin seems too naïve for her age… and yeah, it's true. I had originally written this fic out before posting, but it was a lolicon (Rin was still 7) and was supposed to be her diary, with smut. Of course I've redone it and now have this, but I'm still following the basic events I planned out, and now I see she was really naïve as a young girl, it carried over to this, and if you're still reading this Note, thank you xD This'll be a fic I'll go back and edit at some point… but thanks for reading :)**


	6. Year 6: The End

**A/N: Her final year here. I don't know why I thought it would be 8 years, not 6… if you see any mistakes in the timeline, please let me know so I can fix it!**

January 10th I think I'm going to go crazy waiting these last few months! My heartbeat won't slow down, I've been so eager to pack 4 months early and clean everything, Lady Kaede laughs at me. I'll kinda miss her; she was helpful and nice to me. I'll make sure to say a proper goodbye to everybody and tell them I'll miss them. It won't be long before Milord's last visit before we leave. Well, goodnight, Sasshi.

January 26th Lord Sesshoumaru and I walked to the river and back, talking the entire way. But, when we got to the river, the dagger Kazuko used was on the ground, lying there. It was really creepy, with dried purplish blood on it. We didn't move it, we just kept walking; I just wanted to talk to Milord, no trouble. I think he's even a little happy I'm rejoining him. He keeps telling me there's still time to choose to stay… I don't understand why he keeps reminding me. I want to go with him!

February 10th My menses have started to come at the beginning of the month now. That's the most eventful thing I can tell you for now, I've been busy taking care of a sick Kaede, again. I don't mind, but it's hard. She asks for a lot of things, and it has to be just right or I get yelled at. I knew I should've taken up archery or something besides medicine. Well, goodnight, Sasshi.

February 20th Lady Kaede is finally feeling better, but she told me her time is coming to an end, since she's so old. I felt kinda sad when she told me, I can't imagine her… dying. It doesn't seem right. Well, I think I'll start saying my goodbyes in March. Goodnight.

March 10th Kohaku and that fox demon Shippo came back to see what the village is like. I said goodbye to them, since they're only staying a day or two. Shippo thought I was dying! He kept asking what was wrong with me, and I kept telling him it was time for me to rejoin Sesshoumaru-sama. Kohaku seemed a little sad when I told him this, and he hoped I would be happy, and so did Shippo. I feel kinda weird tonight, so goodnight.

March 20th Nearly less than a month until I leave! I can't wait; I might 'spontaneously combust'! I think that means to randomly blow-up from excitement. I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet! Or maybe it's only for kids? I'll ask Lady Kagome, she was the one who told me about it. Goodnight, then.

March 30th Lady Kagome told me only 'atoms' and 'molecules' and other things like that are able to spontaneously combust, and under very specific circumstances. I don't get it. What's an 'atom'? I hope it's not important… well, goodnight.

April 10th I've started saying goodbye to people, since I leave in only a few days. Everybody seems sad, especially Lady Kaede. I told her that she would have Lady Kagome, and she smiled and told me I was right. Well, I'm going to sleep happy yet again, Sasshi. Goodnight!

April 24th I'm so excited, and I'm sure you know why, Sasshi! I'M 18! I'm writing this from the morning, because I don't want to wait until tonight to tell you what's going to happen… Lord Sesshoumaru is going to come, and we'll take Ah-Un back to the Western Palace. I think. Oh, and then we'll live happily after ever, like in dreams. Haha, I wouldn't be so stupid to actually think that. I really don't know what we'll do once we get there, I think I'll look around and see the place. But, Sasshi, I promise I'll never forget you, or the girl who looks like you. Maybe one day I'll see her again, and I'll tell you about it. Maybe she'll write me a happy ending, and I'll write yours. I'll keep you forever with me, Sasshi, no matter what. On my deathbed, I'll write goodbye to you, or have my children do it; but I will say goodbye. Today seems so 'surreal', like it couldn't possibly happen. I have to finish packing and cleaning everything… so goodbye, Sasshi-chan. I know we'll meet again soon, and then I'll write my happy ending for you.

**A/N: Yes, I have decided to end the story here. There may or may not be a sequel. I am also not going to go back and spontaneously fix mistakes, but if someone does point them out, I will fix them. I really liked this story and was the first one I actually uploaded and liked. Okay I lied, there is a sequel.**


End file.
